WE'RE WHAT!!!!???
by Hudson
Summary: the three clones is on a roadtrip, Raiden and Otacon get's kidnapped and killed plz R&R!!!
1. Otacon has pointed his Gundam wing a lit...

WE'RE WHAT!!!?  
  
Disclaimer. Don't own shit! Ok??  
  
Hellooj welcome to my first attempt to humor before we begin, I think it is smart to tell what has happened to Snake:  
  
Right..... It is 4 years after Big Shell and he stil lives in Alaska (with Meryl!)  
  
But Snake has decided to quit the killing and other .... Things and then buys a bar in the nearby town of Daniels Crossing(beside he thinks that the chick to Raiden can handle the killing and other... stuff). The bar goes by the name of The drunken huskie and it's here our story starts....  
  
Snake is standing behind the bar, whisling and drying some glaces... Suddenly a man enters. The man goes to the bar and sit's down, Snake looks at him.  
  
The man looks back.  
  
Man:*sighs, pointing at his nose that kinda looks like a dick* It's NOT a dick, it's my nose.  
  
Snake: fine, what anything??  
  
Man: bloody mary.  
  
Snake: don't have it.  
  
Man: whisky?  
  
Snake: nope.  
  
Man: vodka??  
  
Snake:*shakes his head* ain't got that either  
  
Man: bu..  
  
Snake: no.  
  
Man: what..  
  
Snake: na ah.  
  
Man: what do you got then?  
  
Snake: Jack Daniels....  
  
Man: hit me..  
  
*Snake get's ready to hit him*  
  
Man: no! With a Jack Daniels!  
  
Snake: oohhh.*get's the man a Jack Daniels*  
  
*the bar door opens and in the entrance a man looking like Snake is standing. The man has long blonde hair and a dakr skin color. Snake reaches for the USP he has under the bar*  
  
Snake: !  
  
Man with long blonde hair and darker skin color: hello brother *british accent*.  
  
Snake: Liquid?!  
  
Liquid: yes, it is I, Liquid Snake.  
  
Snake: but I thought you were in Ocelot's arm?  
  
Liquid: for the sake of this story I have taken my own body back, besides I am tired of the same Trinity film with Bud Spencer and Terence Hill, not to forget the bloody baked bean Ocelot always eats!  
  
Snake: are you going to kill me?  
  
Liquid: nooo bugger that! Give me a drink Snake!  
  
Snake: what kind?  
  
Liquid: martini, shaken not stired.  
  
Snake: how about a Jack Daniels?  
  
Liquid: ok, Snake, hit me!  
  
*Snake get's ready to hit Liquid*  
  
Liquid: no! With the drink!  
  
Snake: Oh...*Snake hands Liquid the bottle*  
  
*suddenly the phone starts to ring and Snake takes it*  
  
Snake: hello the drunken huskie.  
  
Man on the phone: mmhphhmhmh  
  
Snake: ok I'll see if she is here, hey everyone is there an Alotta Vagina in here?!  
  
*Snake looks around, there is only the man and Liquid*  
  
Snake: no sorry, no Alotta Vagina here.*hangs up*  
  
*Liquid is chuckling a little. Suddenly the door opens an in the doorway  
  
is a man with an eye patch on the left eye, white hair and a beard*  
  
Man in the doorway: hello brothers.  
  
Liquid: Solidus? Are you not supposed to be dead?  
  
*Snake reaches for the USP again*  
  
Snake: yeah I thought Raiden killed you.  
  
Solidus: hmmf! Raiden could'nt beat me if he had metal gear and I was a fifty year old clone of big boss and I have failing genes!  
  
Snake: what are you doing here??  
  
Solidus: what do you think dumbass!! I'm here to get a drink!  
  
*Solidus walks to the bar*  
  
Snake: ok, what do you want?  
  
Solidus: some good old sake  
  
Snake: what about a Jack Daniels?  
  
Solidus: that'll do.  
  
*the phone rings again, Snake picks it up*  
  
Snake: hello the drunken huskie.  
  
Man on the phone: mmhphhmhmh  
  
Snake: ok I'll see if he's here, hey everyone is there a Biggus Dickus in here?!  
  
*Snake looks around, there is only the man, Liquid and Solidus*  
  
Snake: no sorry, no Biggus Dickus here.*hangs up*  
  
*Liquid and Solidus is laughing*  
  
Snake: what??  
  
Solidus: nottin'  
  
Liquid: Jesus, why can you bloody Americans just not say thing the right  
  
way.  
  
Snake: we do!  
  
Liquid: no you bloody do not!  
  
Snake: do to!  
  
Liquid: do not!  
  
Snake: do to!  
  
Liquid: do not!  
  
Snake: do to!  
  
Liquid: do not!  
  
Snake: do to!  
  
Liquid: do not!  
  
Snake: do to!  
  
Liquid: do not!  
  
Solidus: cut it!!  
  
Liquid: mind you'r own beeswax, Solidus  
  
Solidus: What the hell is that suppossed to mean  
  
Solidus: besides you're not british.  
  
Snake: yeah we're more Japaneese.  
  
Liquid: how would you know??  
  
Snake: coz' my kids look japaneese  
  
*Solidus and Liquid looks at Snake*  
  
Snake: what??  
  
Solidus: you know that we are sterile don't you?  
  
Snake:*shocked by the news* WE'RE WHAT!!!!!??  
  
Solidus: thought you knew.  
  
Snake: two seconds..*runs to the phone and dials a number*  
  
Solidus: god, little brothers are fun*starts laughing*  
  
Snake:*in the background*is it Otacon?? I knew he has acted strange around me, I think he has pointed his Gundam wing a little to far out!!  
  
*Snake continues to talk to Meryl(who did you think it was Santa??)*  
  
Snake:*come's back to Liquid and Solidus* HA! We had me cloned with the help of Naomi!  
  
Snake: Regarding kids at least I don't have son that looks like a girl.  
  
Solidus: she does not look like a girl!  
  
*Snake and Liquid starts to laugh*  
  
Solidus: but who defeated the Ray's and me?  
  
Snake: I could have! But would'nt  
  
Liquid: and why not?  
  
Snake: coz' i'm wating to kill the patriots and the others in MGS 3  
  
Solidus: sure it's not gonna be Metal Gear Raiden??  
  
Snake: shut up!  
  
*suddenly the phone rings....*  
  
That was the first chapter R&R to say if I shoud continue.  
  
Oh! Does anyone know if Metal gear section has that letter answering with the main characther or bad guy if not I would like to start one.  
  
Check ya' later dudes!!  
  
P.S: also read my serious fanfic titled Twin lakes. 


	2. ROADTRIP!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: do not own nottin' so sue me!!  
  
Chapter 2: ROADTRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Let us start were we ended :  
  
..Snake: I could have! But would'nt  
  
Liquid: and why not?  
  
Snake: coz' I'm wating to kill the patriots and the others in MGS 3  
  
Solidus: sure it's not gonna be Metal Gear Raiden??  
  
Snake: shut up!  
  
*suddenly the phone rings....*  
  
Snake: hello the drunken huskie.  
  
Man on the phone: mmhphhmhmh  
  
Snake: ok I'll see if he's here, hey everyone is there a Dick Dickson in here?!  
  
*Snake looks around, there is only the man, Liquid and Solidus*  
  
Snake: no sorry, no Dick Dickson here.  
  
*Liquid and Solidus is laughing*  
  
*suddenly Snake get's it*  
  
Snake: alright you little shit..  
  
*get's interupted by the man that has a nose that kinda looked like a dick*  
  
Man: excuse, I'm mr. Dickson.  
  
Snake: oh my bad.  
  
*hands over the phone*  
  
Liquid: tell me brothers have you ever wondered who Big Boss really is??  
  
Snake and Solidus: no.  
  
Liquid: not just a little bit??  
  
Snake: nope.  
  
*Snake lights a cigaret*  
  
Solidus: aw jesus!!! Put it out!!  
  
Snake: aww not you to, my own brothers don't want to have a cool, relaxing,  
  
Nice, *get's a twinkle in his eyes* nicotine and other poisonous stuff filled smoke!  
  
Solidus and Liquid: hell no!!!!  
  
*Snake looks disapointed*  
  
Snake: you guys, suck!  
  
Solidus: you're a bad influence to my son, he's always smoking those Lucky strikers!!  
  
Snake: alright you bastards..  
  
*Snake sees Liquid holding a photo*  
  
Snake: what's this??  
  
Liquid: nothing.  
  
*Snake takes the photo, it's a erotic picture of Naomi*  
  
Snake: where did you get that from??  
  
Liquid: her.  
  
Snake: why??  
  
Liquid: because since I have gotten my old body back I have been sleeping with her.  
  
*Snake is shocked*  
  
Snake: her??  
  
Liquid: yes.  
  
Snake: the same chattering nanny that gave me Foxdie!!??  
  
Liquid: she might be a chattering nanny, but she is wild in bed I say!  
  
Solidus: really??  
  
Liquid: yes she is.  
  
Solidus: hmmm.....  
  
Liquid: don't even think about it.  
  
Solidus: what??  
  
Liquid: I know you were thinking dirty thoughts, as were Snake.  
  
Snake: no I was'nt.  
  
Liquid: yes you were.  
  
Snake: ok I admit it, but she promised me a stripsearch on her.  
  
Solidus: well, that's Snake, he's the inferior one.  
  
Liquid: that's true.  
  
Snake: hey don't be mean.  
  
Liquid: oh! Look at the time it's time for intermission.  
  
Intermission:............................................................... ............................................................................ ......................................  
  
Snake:*burping* those Jack Daniels  
  
Liquid: you should have saved some.  
  
Solidus: yeah!  
  
Snake: sorry, heh heh*grins*  
  
Liquid: then what??  
  
Snake: I'm going to the nearest big american city to buy a huge amount of Jack Daniels.  
  
Liquid: well nothing better to do right now, then i'm coming to!  
  
Solidus: hmmm, Naomi*smiles evilly*  
  
Liquid: Solidus!!  
  
Solidus: what??  
  
Snake: Liquid and me is going to the nearest big american city to buy a huge amount of Jack Daniels, wanna come??  
  
Solidus: suure..  
  
Liquid: you know what this means  
  
Snake, Liquid, Solidus: ROADTRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
To be continued  
  
Next issue 


	3. Dude, Where's my USP?

Disclaimer: I do own a couple of mgs, mgs2 figures...  
  
Chap 3: Dude, where's my USP?  
  
Snake:*burping* those Jack Daniels  
  
Liquid: you should have saved some.  
  
Solidus: yeah!  
  
Snake: sorry, heh heh*grins*  
  
Liquid: then what??  
  
Snake: I'm going to the nearest big american city to buy a huge amount of Jack Daniels.  
  
Liquid: well nothing better to do right now, then i'm coming to!  
  
Solidus: hmmm, Naomi*smiles evilly*  
  
Liquid: Solidus!!  
  
Solidus: what??  
  
Snake: Liquid and me is going to the nearest big american city to buy a huge amount of Jack Daniels, wanna come??  
  
Solidus: suure..  
  
Liquid: you know what this means  
  
Snake, Liquid, Solidus: ROADTRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Snake: so which car are we gonna take??  
  
Solidus: ain't got one.  
  
Liquid: me neither.  
  
Snake: I got a car out the back.  
  
Solidus: goood we'll take that...  
  
Liquid: let's go!  
  
*Snake and co. Walks to the back alley*  
  
Snake: there it is my beauty!*looking really smug*  
  
Solidus:*looking really doubtfull* eh, Snake that's a....  
  
Liquid: you are aware that it is a M1A1 Abrams Main Battle Tank,  
  
Designed and built for the rigors of modern-day ground warfare.  
  
M1A1 includes many features, which enhance it's deadly and defensive capabilities: Battlefield Override, NBC (nuclear biolgical chemical) Overpressure System, Position Location Reporting Systems and Deep Water Fording Kit.  
  
The 120mm main gun is capable of engagement ranges up to 4 km,  
  
Uses many forms..*taking a pause to breathe* of ammunition and has Hit/kill ratio that eaquals or surpasses any main battle tank class weapon in the world.  
  
Snake: yeah.. Great innit'?  
  
Solidus: what about another car??  
  
Snake: well, Meryl took the Humvee.  
  
Solidus: oh.... Isen't the tank a bit slow??  
  
Snake: no worries I tuned it to 220 miles pr hour..  
  
Liquid: can you do that??  
  
Snake: I can...  
  
Snake: hmm.....  
  
*Snake starts to look through all of his pockets*  
  
Solidus: what is it Snake?  
  
Snake: Dude, where's my USP?  
  
Liquid: the 45. Or 9mm.  
  
Snake: the 45......  
  
Liquid: here,*takes out a Desert Eagle* you can borrow this.  
  
Snake: no thanks, I need my USP!  
  
Solidus: can't you just use you'r M9??  
  
Snake: Jesus what if we meet a couple of assassins??  
  
Solidus: true...  
  
Liquid: yeah.. We are not the most popular persons.  
  
Snake: Oh *has his right hand in a pocket* found it!  
  
Solidus: hey I thought of something, did any of you vote for me??  
  
Liquid and Snake: No!  
  
Solidus: why??  
  
Snake: coz' you were a republican.  
  
Solidus: ok.  
  
Liquid: let us go!  
  
Snake: right!  
  
Solidus: hmmm.. Naomi and Rose....*smile evilly*  
  
Liquid: SOLIDUS CUT IT!!!!  
  
Solidus: what??  
  
*all enter the tank, there's a mini bar, sofa, TV, kithen, Spaceport, Raiden, Otacon and those you dices you can hang in front*  
  
Liquid: will you look at the time!  
  
Snake: no..  
  
Liquid: it is time for intermission.  
  
Intermission:......A............R.......T.......O.......T.......P.......S... ....I............U.........R........E.........L.......  
  
*the tanks is driving on a highway, inside Liquid, Snake and Solidus is sitting talking.*  
  
Liquid: hey Snake what's that red box  
  
Snake: *looks at the red box* oh that! That is just in case..*move's his eye brows and smiles*  
  
Liquid: can I see?? *reaching for the box*  
  
Snake: No! *stops Liquid*  
  
Liquid: all right, all right.  
  
Solidus: eh, if I'm here and you two are here who's driving??  
  
Snake: Otacon is.  
  
Solidus: oh......  
  
I think It's time to say:  
  
To be continued  
  
Next issue 


	4. ummm can I have his Animè??

Disclaimer: you guessed it!  
  
Chapter 3: ummm.. Can I have his Animè??  
  
Snake(the chain smoking one) and his two brothers Solidus(the freaky one) and Liquid(the tea sipping one) is on a roadtrip to get some Jack Daniels for Snake bar The drunken huskie, right now they are all on the highway of P17.  
  
*Snake looks at his cards again*  
  
Snake: got a five, Liquid?  
  
Liquid: go fish, Snake!!  
  
Solidus: I never thought we were good at cards too.  
  
*Snake lights a smoke*  
  
Solidus: come one!! Don't do that!  
  
Snake: hey it's my tank!  
  
Liquid: he has got a point there, Solidus.  
  
*suddenly a bell rings*  
  
Liquid: OH! My tea.  
  
*runs to the mini-kitchen*  
  
Snake: tea...*chuckles* heheh  
  
Liquid: what is wrong with tea??  
  
Solidus: it is so british.  
  
Liquid: I am british!!  
  
Snake: well you have grown up in the U.K. But you are the states.  
  
Liquid: just shut up and let me have my tea in peace!  
  
Solidus and Snake: fine...  
  
*suddenly a strange noise is starting*  
  
Snake: oh damn!  
  
Solidus: what??  
  
Snake: we need to pull over.  
  
Liquid: why?  
  
Snake: we need gasoline.  
  
Solidus: thought you did that before we went.  
  
Snake: forgot.......  
  
Liquid: for love of g...  
  
Solidus: *whacks Liquid on the head* don't talk bad about God!  
  
Liquid: Jesus chri...  
  
*Solidus whack him again*  
  
Liquid: stop that! Stop that!  
  
Snake: we're in luck! There's a gas station on our left!  
  
*the tank stops and Snake, Solidus and Liquid steps out*  
  
Snake: Otacon go get some gas.  
  
*Liquid looks around and sees a electronic store with TV in the window*  
  
Liquid: uhhh Pokèmon!  
  
*Liquid walks to the store*  
  
*Solidus goes in to the gas station shop and looks at porn mags*  
  
Solidus: uhhh porn!  
  
*Solidus starts to read XXX porn Deluxe feat. Naomi!*  
  
*Snake goes to the clerk*  
  
Snake: give' me some cigs.  
  
Clerk: any kind in particular??  
  
Snake: Lucky strikers please.  
  
Clerk: sorry sold out, after MGS and MGS2 the demand became sky high  
  
Snake: damn! What about Prince?  
  
Clerk: no  
  
Snake: Look??  
  
Clerk: na'ah*shakes his head*  
  
Snake: how about Marlboro!!!!?*Snake begins to have a desparate look in his face*  
  
Clerk: no  
  
Snake: for the of go..  
  
*Solidus whacks him*  
  
Snake: do you at least have any kind of nicotine????!!!  
  
Clerk: how about Nicotine gum?  
  
Snake: yes! Give me!!!!!  
  
*clerk give the gum*  
  
Clerk: that'll be 17,50  
  
Snake: here!*give's him the money*  
  
*Snake opens the package and begins to chew all the gum in the package*  
  
Snake: 'ore!  
  
*after ten minutes or so Solidus and Snake walks to the tank to find it missing. Snake (still chewing Nicotine gum) get's a codec call*  
  
Snake: 'his is sh'nake w'hat  
  
Man on codec: I have your friends and your tank in my possesion, if my demands are not met blondy and mr.Animè is dead starting with blondie.  
  
Snake: oh do you mean Raiden, shoot the bastard!  
  
Man on codec: oh ok, *walks of the codec and you hear a gunshot* done.  
  
Snake: thanks, man.  
  
Man on codec: what about Otacon??  
  
Snake: oh shoot him too.  
  
Man on codec: what!!!?  
  
Snake: yeah I don't give a damn about that bastard!  
  
Man on codec: not a tenzie wenzie little bit??  
  
Snake: fuck no!  
  
*suddenly Liquid comes to Snake and Solidus*  
  
Solidus: hmmmm...  
  
Liquid: what is it?  
  
*Solidus tells everything to Liquid*  
  
Snake: have you killed him yet??  
  
Man on codec: two secs...  
  
Liquid: umm...Snake, If Otacon dies can I have his Animè??  
  
Snake: sure  
  
Man on codec: what!!??  
  
To be continued.............. 


End file.
